Not just dirty laundry...

I want to start this post by saying... I really questioned myself as to whether to publish this. I do not want to just seem as if I am telling all my business or "airing my dirty laundry". I believe that God allows us to go through trials. I believe He molds us and builds us by our trials and walks with us the entire way, never turning His back on us. Also, in my heart, I believe that God wants us to share our trials with others so that we may feel comfort through prayer, compassion and shared joy when we come out on the other side in victory... God uses us, and our obstacles, to help one another in Godly love, and to show us that we are not alone. How lame would it be to reach the top of the mountain if there was no valley? Without a valley, there is no mountain.



A mom from Gavin's class asked me this week in passing how my kids were doing with school... I could have said, "Fine, everything is just fine!" But in honesty I said, "Well, I am struggling with my oldest, Blake!" For the next hour in the school parking lot, we both stood there and discussed the struggles we are both having and how we were both seeking the assistance of a Christian counselor to help us and our children through these times. WOW! God is present in it all!



We allowed Blake to spend the night with his buddy Friday night. This friend is basically the only friend he hangs out with at school and though we were not too keen on this sleepover, due to not having met the boys dad, we knew that this was a good kid based on his behavior at our home on several occasions, and we decided to allow him to go. Blake came home Saturday talking about how his friend's brother has anger issues and acted like a major punk to his dad and completely disrespected everyone and even hit and kicked Bennett when he did not get his way. He was appauled at what he had witnessed and we asked him what he thought of his experience. Blake said that he saw a lot of himself in the anger and "punk-itude" (punk attitude) and he knew that it was wrong and unacceptible and certainly did not honor us and more importantly GOD! WOW! If only the story ended there and we could all just start singing 'Kumbaya' and Blake never again struggled with those issues... of course, it is not that easy and it DID NOT end there!



Today was an awful day! Punk-itude, disrespect, anger, lashing out... it is all out in full force. I know kids say things when they are angry and want to hurt us, but hearing your child scream at the top of his lungs that he hates his life and wishes he was never born... that will bring you to your knees. That is exactly where I was! My heart cries out to God to heal this fracture in our family...and to give Blake the peace of His Holy Spirit.

For those friends who may read this who are my "Prayer Warrior" friends... please pray for us in this situation. I know that when we get through this valley and get to the top of this "mountain", the victory is going to be breathtaking and we will owe it all to Jesus, and our loved ones who petitioned on our behalf for this healing. Our first counselor appointment is Tuesday, and Russ and I are hopeful that this will benefit Blake, as well as all of us, in learning how to communicate effectively without getting so angry, and learning how to take the lemons that he feels like he has been given ... and make lemonade.

Praying continuously...