Pictures from Holly

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Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on!...

We had a great week in South Florida, staying at the beach and visiting friends and "family"... yet, it is a bitter reminder that life goes on without us. Russ and I had many conversations over the course of the week... could we move back, would we want to move back, what would we do if we moved back, and how different our lives would be if we did. Yet, since we have not "found our niche" so to speak in Charleston, it makes it even more difficult to experience the loss. Where DO we go from here?

Russ asked me this week, if I could live anywhere, where would that be... honestly, I have NO IDEA! There is no perfect place this side of Heaven. The fact of the matter is, we have to move AT LEAST once more before retirement from the Coast Guard. I am getting too old for this. The starting over, planting temporary roots... ugh! I feel as if our life is being measured in time... how many years is this tour, how many years is the next tour and where on earth will it be, how many years left until we can make our own decisions about where we live... yet at the end of all of the day, I know it is the best decision for our family to finish the ride.

It just reminds me of the song... Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on!...

A Walk to Remember...though I wish I could forget it!

Two nights ago, we went on a family walk/bike ride after dinner. Gavin just learned to ride his bike without training wheels and so he LOVES LOVES LOVES to ride his bike now. He was the one who begged to do our nightly trip around the block, Gavin's second time on his bike. Russ was pulling Holden in the wagon, I was walking Bella, and the Landon and Gavin were riding their bikes. (Blake stayed home doing his new favorite thing... baking cookies.)

Generally, I keep Bella on a very short tight leash because she is CRAZY! She could pull a covered wagon with her freakish strength... but I digress. We have lots of dogs in our neighborhood and they either have no fences containing them, or they have invisible fences... either way... we have no idea whether they can come out of their yards or not. However, Bella has been doing much better on our walks so I had given her a little freedom on the leash to roam more. We got partially around the neighborhood when a little white dog came barrelling from his house after our little Bella. Bella freaked out and took off across the street toward the dog, and at this same time, Gavin was pedalling his heart out back toward us. Russ and I start screaming for Gavin to stop, but being a bike riding novice, using his breaks was out of the question. I let go of the leash, thinking that if it was tight he would run into the rope, possibly with his neck and be yanked backward off of the bike landing on his back... option number 1... yikes, no thank you. SO...I went with option number 2, I let go of the leash thinking it would just fall the ground, or at worst, hit his chest, and fall to the ground. Unfortunately, neither of these options occurred. We were petrified to witness the leash boomerang itself around Gavin's neck and yank him off of his bike throwing him to the ground. Praise God, he had his helmet on! He still received two head abraisions. His face and neck suffered so much rope burn, it is so pitiful!

What a frightening night for us. Knowing what could have happened just freaks me out! We made him sleep in our bed so that we could keep an eye on him and make sure he did not get a concussion from the head injuries. I am so thankful that God protected him and he is ok, minus some burns. No more loose leashes for Bella and we had a crash course on break usage for Gavin... no pun intended!

Olympic Bound?

While waiting on the World Cup Us/England game to come on we were watching some college decathletes competing. He is how the conversation went:

Blake: I would like to try out for the Olympics!

Russ/Me: Oh, Really... doing what?

Blake: Hmmmm, I don't know, how about SNOWBOARDING?

Me (Trying desperately not to laugh and knowing the answer already as the most snow he has seen in his life thus far is 1 inch): Have you ever BEEN on a snowboard?

Blake: Uhhmmm, no!


Do you think we are failing at our job of keeping him "grounded in reality"? I mean... I guess he could move somewhere, at some point in his future, be surrounded by snow most of the year, and have a natural talent for snowboarding, and end up at the Olympic games of 2025 or thereafter... Though, likely not... hee hee hee

Kids Bowl Free... ?

We used our Kids Bowl Free tickets today to get out of the house for a while! The kids got to bowl free... you just have to pay for shoe rental. Apparently, shoes are golden! $3 per shoe..., seriously? How much do they cost to BUY? Well, anywho... we paid the $16 fee for all of us to have shoes, and then the games began. I must say, that was $16 well spent. The clapping, whooping, whew hews, brotherly encouragement, and fun... Priceless! Thanks Kids Bowl Free or (aka $16)!

Making God Laugh...

Gavin's preschool teacher used to say, "If you want to make God laugh, make plans!" I do not think that my boys find the "humor" in that! Nursing some broken hearts today... ;-(

Waiting....

Amy and Chris, (Russ' sister and Bro-In-Law), received the wonderful news about a month ago that they have been matched with their daughter Brenna. They are waiting for their appointment at the Chinese consulate (or wherever they go) to officially adopt their daughter and bring her home. Their were some initial concerns over her extremely low weight for her age, but they truly felt like God His divine hand in matching them with their daughter.

We are so excited to meet Brenna! I contemplated going with them to China to get Brenna, and I would have loved to have gone with them, but I also know that my heart would have probably broken to not bring home a daughter of my own. However, it was a very expensive trip, and others will be going with them. For now, I know that we will be welcoming a beautiful little girl into our family in the next month or so... for now I will be Aunt Holly. I am thankful!

Friends Forever

Last weekend the boys and I went to Wilmington for a couple of while Russ was away. We had a nice time, and on Sunday we went to my friend Trisha's house so the boys could visit with her two boys while I visited with her. We all had a nice time, though the visit was too short.

On our way out of town, the boys were asking me about Trisha and I was explaining to them how we became friends. You see, the first week of Jr. High School, I was "the girl with the bow in her hair"... (Madonna was very much a trendsetter then). The nickname was not one of fondness...as Trisha did not like me initially, and I did not even know it. But seeing as to how it was the beginning of the school year, Trisha decided to have a slumber party to meet new people, and what do you know... I was invited. I was a little scared that I was going to be the target of some slumber party prank, but much to my joy, that was not the case and Trisha and I became best friends from that night on!

Trisha and I were inseparable for so many years and I am so thankful that I still call her friend! We have been friends for 24 years! Since I have been gone from Wilmington for many years, it was so great to visit her beautiful home and see what a wonderful mom and wife she has become. I am certainly thankful that God allowed her to be a part of my life and that she is still a part of my life!

This whole thought process entered my mind, because as we were leaving Wilmington, I realized that I had lived in that town for 24 years of my life... my boys will not have that same fate... we have already moved 4 times, and growing up with the same best friends is not an option for our boys. Sadly! God will comfort and provide, I know, but it is still a little sad. With technology and the internet, they will be able to stay in better contact with the friends they do make, but it is different. I will just chose to be thankful for whatever friends God will provide for us all!

Summertime Blues... not for me!

The boys got out of school last Thursday and we have been enjoying every moment of summer so far. We started a little early with our summer celebration by going to South Georgia to Russ' Aunt Priscilla's / Uncle Durwood's to enjoy family time and tubing on the lake. The boys had a blast! Then, as soon as school was out we went to see my mom and Tim in Wilmington for a couple of days. I am so thankful for the freedom to be able to get in the car and GO! It is a little crazy transporting myself and the four boys, but it was an adventure.

I am looking forward to a fun-filled summer with my precious boys and Russ (precious too)! Lookout, we may be coming to see YOU!

Ghosts?

Landon came home from school this week and said that "Jack", a kid in his class, got into trouble. He kept talking about ghosts and Landon informed him that there were no such things as ghosts! Jack continued on, and said, "Well, what about God?"

Landon said, "God is NOT a ghost, He is a HOLY SPIRIT!"

You tell him, Landon! :-)

Mom, I wish you could have a girl!

It may have been the hours of shopping that Blake had undergone that had taken a toll on him, but as we walked into one of our final stores yesterday, he said that he wished I had a daughter. I told him that I was very thankful and blessed that God had given me my four boys and that I was happy with THEM. Well, at THAT moment, I may not have been super happy with them as only a couple of hours earlier, ONE of the those precious boys had knocked down 10+ racks of dresses in a perfect "domino fashion" in JCPenney. Nothing was left standing except for me and my four little angels!
;-) If I was ever in my life going to abandon those children, I am quite certain that would have been the moment. All, I could think about was "Stop, Drop and Roll yourself out of here"! I must have turned the color of Ronald McDonald's hair I was so embarassed. I am thinking that the super power of invisibility would have come in very handy at that moment. But, I digress...

Had the hours of shopping made Blake so delusional that he had forgotten that he wished he was an only child and argued non-stop with his other 3 siblings. Did he think that wishing for me to have a daughter would create less stress due to bickering and more time with him... In his mind, did he HONESTLY think that I had taken them out for a shopping day on the first day of Spring Break out of sheer pleasure and not NECESSITY? I later shared with them that I would have rather had a blood transfusion with an orangatang than take them all shopping with me. He may have been slightly offended by that...

Anywho... back to his wishful thinking for me. He asked why we could not just adopt a little girl. I told him that it was expensive to adopt and he says in a rather raised voice, "Well, that is like SLAVERY! You should not have to pay for a person!"

Now, do not get me wrong... I agree that slavery is wrong, but how do you shout that out at the Children's Place as everyone in there is probably wondering why my 10 year old is becoming very heated about the COST of giving someone a home. I tried telling him that you are not paying for the child, but rather for the legal costs associated with the process of adopting. Who knows what he understood about that conversation, but one thing I know... there is a pretty good chance that we were the topic of more than a few people's dinner conversations last night. Just sayin'...

Bringing back my Baby...

Blake and I started counseling about 3 weeks ago and I guess I would say things are improving. I do not know if I would give counseling the credit or just constant prayer, it is probably a little of both! I think since we decided to go to counseling Blake realizes that we are not giving up on him and that we are willing to go to whatever lengths to reach him. He has turned to the Word to help him through this time. There is nowhere else I would rather see him turn! He finished Revelations and has a laundry list of discussion questions that we talk about daily. I also started bible study with the boys before school and I can see Blake's thirst for the Truth! There is NEVER a time when he gets an attitude or becomes frustrated when I say, "Let's stop for a minute and see what the Bible says about this!" He absolutely knows and understands things that are so complex to most people, now he is dealing with how to apply these principals in his life. I know that God has GREAT things planned for Blake and I am thankful that though He is allowing us to go through this struggle, He has not abandoned us. We will keep praying for Blake to learn self control, and respect, and for God to continue to show His love and grace. Thanks for your prayers!

God is not through with me yet! ...

I cannot believe it has been 4 weeks since my last post! So many things have been written about in my head..., yet never made it to the screen and now is long forgotten. Holden threw my computer off the bed, fatally injuring my power cord, thus the hiatus from Four Brown Boys. Alot has happened in 4 weeks.

Missions Conference
We were blessed enough to attend a weekend long Missions Conference at our church. WOW! What amazing people we met! There were people who are serving the Lord all over the world at the conference! Remote areas of Tibet, Thailand, Morocco, the US... ALL OVER! Through listening to all of their stories, the one thing that struck Russ and I the deepest... WHAT ARE WE DOING FOR OUR SAVIOUR? How are we sharing the most precious gift of all? These missionaries are sacrificing so much for His Glory, what are we sacrificing?

I realize that the mission field does not exist solely in other countries... it is right in our own backyard. However, one of the speakers did make the mention that as Americans, we have churches on every corner. It does not seem right to give people the chance to hear the gospel over and over and continue to reject it, when there are people in this world who are waiting to hear it for the first time. They are waiting for the message of Hope to be brought to them. Most Americans live in a shadow of a cross, yet drive right by and reject the message.

I must admit, we were both ready to sell everything we own and go to the mission field immediately after that precious experience. Who knows... we do know that God is not finished with us and we are ready and willing to be used by Him.

Not just dirty laundry...

I want to start this post by saying... I really questioned myself as to whether to publish this. I do not want to just seem as if I am telling all my business or "airing my dirty laundry". I believe that God allows us to go through trials. I believe He molds us and builds us by our trials and walks with us the entire way, never turning His back on us. Also, in my heart, I believe that God wants us to share our trials with others so that we may feel comfort through prayer, compassion and shared joy when we come out on the other side in victory... God uses us, and our obstacles, to help one another in Godly love, and to show us that we are not alone. How lame would it be to reach the top of the mountain if there was no valley? Without a valley, there is no mountain.



A mom from Gavin's class asked me this week in passing how my kids were doing with school... I could have said, "Fine, everything is just fine!" But in honesty I said, "Well, I am struggling with my oldest, Blake!" For the next hour in the school parking lot, we both stood there and discussed the struggles we are both having and how we were both seeking the assistance of a Christian counselor to help us and our children through these times. WOW! God is present in it all!



We allowed Blake to spend the night with his buddy Friday night. This friend is basically the only friend he hangs out with at school and though we were not too keen on this sleepover, due to not having met the boys dad, we knew that this was a good kid based on his behavior at our home on several occasions, and we decided to allow him to go. Blake came home Saturday talking about how his friend's brother has anger issues and acted like a major punk to his dad and completely disrespected everyone and even hit and kicked Bennett when he did not get his way. He was appauled at what he had witnessed and we asked him what he thought of his experience. Blake said that he saw a lot of himself in the anger and "punk-itude" (punk attitude) and he knew that it was wrong and unacceptible and certainly did not honor us and more importantly GOD! WOW! If only the story ended there and we could all just start singing 'Kumbaya' and Blake never again struggled with those issues... of course, it is not that easy and it DID NOT end there!



Today was an awful day! Punk-itude, disrespect, anger, lashing out... it is all out in full force. I know kids say things when they are angry and want to hurt us, but hearing your child scream at the top of his lungs that he hates his life and wishes he was never born... that will bring you to your knees. That is exactly where I was! My heart cries out to God to heal this fracture in our family...and to give Blake the peace of His Holy Spirit.

For those friends who may read this who are my "Prayer Warrior" friends... please pray for us in this situation. I know that when we get through this valley and get to the top of this "mountain", the victory is going to be breathtaking and we will owe it all to Jesus, and our loved ones who petitioned on our behalf for this healing. Our first counselor appointment is Tuesday, and Russ and I are hopeful that this will benefit Blake, as well as all of us, in learning how to communicate effectively without getting so angry, and learning how to take the lemons that he feels like he has been given ... and make lemonade.

Praying continuously...

Is it better to be the oldest, or the youngest?

We were moving right along with family life planning for Gavin to start Kindergarten next fall at Belle Hall with Blake and Landon. He is finishing up pre-k 4 and doing very well. Then, Emily made the comment that they were thinking of keeping Brady in pre-k for another year instead of sending him to Kindergarten. His and Gavin's birthdays are 1 month apart, so of course, I thought... why in the world would you do that? She started telling me about the struggles they were going through in trying to decide and the pros and cons of the decisions. The bottom line ... is it better to be the youngest in the class always trying to "keep up" or the oldest in the class "setting the pace"?

Hmmmm. I mentioned this concept to Russ and immediately he asked why on earth we would not send him on to K5 considering he is absolutely ready academically to advance. I told him about the idea that K5 and 1st, even 2nd grade are no big deal. How about 4th, 5th, 6th grades and up when he is the youngest trying to "fit in" with the older kids. Athletically up to a year behind his classmates. If we are going to hold him back ever, this is the year. SO, now I find myself extremely concerned with our making the right decision for Gavin's future. (THANKS EMILY!!! ;-)

I continued researching and have also started consulting teachers that I know. Russ' mom for one... she offered some good thoughts and has also talked to some of her teacher friends, including her sister, Priscilla. Priscilla was confronted with the same choice with her daughter Katie, except they would not let her hold her back and she ended up having keep her back in 1st grade. Her advice... KEEP HIM BACK!

I have found many research articles saying how summer birthday (especially boys) children who wait to start kindergarten at 6 years old do so much better academically later on in school years. Obviously, we want Gavin to have all of the advantages that are possible, without hindering him in any way. I just feel as if this is a huge decision.

He is not an eager beaver when it comes to going to school every day as it is. He looks forward to his "off day" on Thursdays when he can just hang out at home and not worry about school. Then, yesterday, he collapsed in my arms in tears when I picked him up from school because some of the boys were not letting him play freeze tag and were ruling the playground time. His feelings were so hurt. I spoke to his teacher and she said that there were some extremely agressive kids in the other class and that she would keep an eye out. Was God trying to give me a hint? Would he be less likely to get his feelings hurt so easily if he was the oldest in his class? Would he be happier to go to school every day all day if he had an extra year to prepare? Would he not put up with the bully-ish attitudes of others if he knew he was the oldest? When he is in high school would I rather him be the first to get his license or the last?

Russ has opened his mind to this topic and has comforted me. He says that we will continue to research the topic, and most importantly, we will pray consistently. God will give us a peace about our decision whatever we decide. We both want to do what is best for all of our boys and in this case, Gavin. We will allow Him to direct our path.