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Thursday, February 18, 2010

Is it better to be the oldest, or the youngest?

We were moving right along with family life planning for Gavin to start Kindergarten next fall at Belle Hall with Blake and Landon. He is finishing up pre-k 4 and doing very well. Then, Emily made the comment that they were thinking of keeping Brady in pre-k for another year instead of sending him to Kindergarten. His and Gavin's birthdays are 1 month apart, so of course, I thought... why in the world would you do that? She started telling me about the struggles they were going through in trying to decide and the pros and cons of the decisions. The bottom line ... is it better to be the youngest in the class always trying to "keep up" or the oldest in the class "setting the pace"?

Hmmmm. I mentioned this concept to Russ and immediately he asked why on earth we would not send him on to K5 considering he is absolutely ready academically to advance. I told him about the idea that K5 and 1st, even 2nd grade are no big deal. How about 4th, 5th, 6th grades and up when he is the youngest trying to "fit in" with the older kids. Athletically up to a year behind his classmates. If we are going to hold him back ever, this is the year. SO, now I find myself extremely concerned with our making the right decision for Gavin's future. (THANKS EMILY!!! ;-)

I continued researching and have also started consulting teachers that I know. Russ' mom for one... she offered some good thoughts and has also talked to some of her teacher friends, including her sister, Priscilla. Priscilla was confronted with the same choice with her daughter Katie, except they would not let her hold her back and she ended up having keep her back in 1st grade. Her advice... KEEP HIM BACK!

I have found many research articles saying how summer birthday (especially boys) children who wait to start kindergarten at 6 years old do so much better academically later on in school years. Obviously, we want Gavin to have all of the advantages that are possible, without hindering him in any way. I just feel as if this is a huge decision.

He is not an eager beaver when it comes to going to school every day as it is. He looks forward to his "off day" on Thursdays when he can just hang out at home and not worry about school. Then, yesterday, he collapsed in my arms in tears when I picked him up from school because some of the boys were not letting him play freeze tag and were ruling the playground time. His feelings were so hurt. I spoke to his teacher and she said that there were some extremely agressive kids in the other class and that she would keep an eye out. Was God trying to give me a hint? Would he be less likely to get his feelings hurt so easily if he was the oldest in his class? Would he be happier to go to school every day all day if he had an extra year to prepare? Would he not put up with the bully-ish attitudes of others if he knew he was the oldest? When he is in high school would I rather him be the first to get his license or the last?

Russ has opened his mind to this topic and has comforted me. He says that we will continue to research the topic, and most importantly, we will pray consistently. God will give us a peace about our decision whatever we decide. We both want to do what is best for all of our boys and in this case, Gavin. We will allow Him to direct our path.

1 comment:

  1. Dylan's birthday is Aug. 22...we did not put him in Kindergarten when he was 5, we kept him in K4 an extra year. Brian didn't get it either, but he finally saw my point and I asked him to trust me since, afterall, I am a teacher. Dylan had a speech delay so that played into the decision as well. But...we do not regret it one bit! Dylan is a good student now. He is responsible. And it's not like he's way younger, most kids have their birthdays by Christmas anyway. So it was an excellent decision for us! As far as Gavin goes, you know your child, if he's doing fine academically and you don't feel like he's lacking in maturity, then I wouldn't think there's a reason to hold him back. But if you feel like he's not ready, this is the time to do it. I will pray for you guys...I know it's a big decision!

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